


The Queen's Return

by bambazzle



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:00:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29551770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambazzle/pseuds/bambazzle
Summary: An after TKM follow-up story. Takes place right after all the canon works of AFTG, as if the series never ended. It will explore everything not covered in AFTG, including Kevin's love life, Matt and Neil's friendship, and how the foxes bond after everything. Also, a lot more Andreil , and hopefully realistic situations that would've happened in the book (more mafia, Exy, drama, drugs, murder, and torture- but also more sweet moments)
Relationships: Andrew Minyard & The Foxes, Kevin Day & Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Matt Boyd & Neil Josten, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten & The Foxes (All For The Game), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49
Collections: All For The Games





	1. 1

Neil Josten was still worn to the bone when he woke up Monday morning. News of Riko Moriyama’s death hadn’t spread, though Neil had seen it with his own eyes. Neil assumed that Riko’s older brother Ichirou, the one who shot Riko after Friday night’s game, was trying to avoid suspicion. Ichirou would reveal the news once he had enough time to claim he had privately mourned the loss of his brother. 

The Foxes were expecting to be neck deep in threats and graffiti by now- Andrew broke Riko’s arm in front of thousands of spectators. It seemed that even the die hard Raven fans had seen Riko’s rage take a turn for the deadly. To Neil, that was the purest justice anyone could ask for. Not a single building on campus had been touched, and Neil spent the weekend peeking into the parking lot to make sure the cars were still intact.

Neil ached as he got out of bed, knowing that half of the Foxes would be waiting in the upperclassmen’s dorm living room to hear the news. Neil had been vague over the weekend, saying he needed time to rest before he talked to everyone about championships. Championships. Neil’s heart fluttered thinking of the game- the Foxes had held their own. They pushed the Ravens so hard that the team broke. They won, and someone beat the Ravens for the first time ever. And then Riko very nearly publicly killed Neil. If Andrew had been two seconds later, Riko’s racquet would’ve come down directly on Neil’s head. 

Neil stumbled to the kitchen, only to find Andrew holding a mug of freshly brewed coffee. He hadn’t even felt Andrew get out of bed before him. After the copious amounts of alcohol they spent the weekend drinking, even Neil couldn’t feel much of anything.

Neil walked wordlessly up to Andrew, sliding the coffee mug into his own hand. A couple months ago Andrew would’ve pulled a knife on him for that, but now Andrew just shook his head and poured another. “You are not as funny as you think you are.”

With a shrug, Neil left and walked straight into his old dorm room, knowing Andrew was close behind. The room was still a mess- blankets and pillows and half empty cups on every surface. Matt cleaned up slowly as everyone sat bleary-eyed in the middle of the room. Neil downed his coffee and took his place on the couch beside Andrew. 

By the time everyone had filed into the room, Neil had prepared himself for what he expected to be a long and difficult conversation.

“Holy shit.” Allison whispered, eliciting stares from the Foxes as she looked up from her phone. “Riko committed suicide.” The room erupted in gasps and furious questions. Kevin looked like he was on the verge of vomiting, and the smug smile on Andrew’s face wasn’t enough to clue anyone in. 

“About that.” Neil started. “Ichirou killed him.” Neil was acutely aware of everyone watching him, but he focused on Kevin as he continued the story. The East Tower. The gun. The deal with Ichirou. Tetsuji stepping down. Neil watched Kevin’s face as he realized what exactly happened after they won. 

An unfamilar look shot across Kevin's face, and Neil felt the need to avert his eyes. Whatever panic or grief Kevin felt, it wasn't Neil's place to look or comment.

“Holy shit.” Allison repeated, with significantly more enthusiasm. “We won.”  
It wasn’t exactly a celebration, but the Foxes filled the room with excited chatter and Nicky began pouring early morning drinks. The fight was over. Neil looked around the room at his teammates and let his hand slide over to the space between Neil and Andrew on the couch. Everyone was so focused on their conversations that not even Nicky noticed Andrew’s hand slide gently on top of Neil’s. The weight felt like a heavy blanket, and Neil knew. He was safe. Kevin was safe. The Foxes were going to be alright.


	2. 2

Though the season was over, Kevin refused to let Neil take a break from Exy practice. Neil was glad for the distraction- having something to throw himself into would make it much easier to keep his mind occupied. He was so used to waiting for the other shoe to drop that it was instinct to look over his shoulder constantly. 

While they swore not to make a habit of it, the rest of the Foxes came along to the stadium Monday afternoon. They were still riding the high of the championship game, and having that much energy pent up in a dorm room wasn’t going too well. Neil wasn’t surprised that Matt and Aaron finally got into a fight- though he expected it to happen much sooner now that they roomed together. 

Out of habit, everyone gathered in the foyer to await Coach’s arrival. When Matt showed up to practice, he sported a split lip that was only rivaled by the intense bruise around Aaron’s cheekbone. Andrew gave them both sideways glances, but said nothing. 

Nicky finally broke the silence, shifting in his chair to look at Neil. “I hate to be the one to say it, but you guys know Coach isn’t coming, right?” 

“Says who?” Coach Wymack pushed through the doors and settled behind Nicky’s chair. Nicky gave him a sheepish look and leaned back in his seat. Neil half expected to see the Foxes’ resident nurse, Abby, walk in behind him. “You really think I’m going to trust the whole team here alone?”

Neil wondered if Wymack had heard about Ichirou’s death. Neil knew he had to explain what really happened, but it felt like he just finished the story and he wasn’t about to start it again. If Wymack had heard the news, he gave no indication, so Neil decided that it wasn’t time to tell him yet anyway. 

“Alright, what are we waiting for? Get your asses to inner court.” Dan stood, and behind her the girls followed to the changing room. 

Practice was a relief on Neil’s sore muscles. At every turn, he pushed himself more, knowing one day he would have to fight harder than he did against the Ravens. Andrew blocked 17 of his shots, then resigned to leaning against his racquet and watching the balls fly past him until Renee took over his goal. Neil had to pull Kevin back to keep Kevin from screaming in frustration at Andrew’s dismissal. 

When they got back to Fox Tower, Neil watched his teammates head back into their rooms, and he slipped up the steps after Andrew. Andrew shoved the door to the roof open, cigarette in hand, and made his way for the far edge. Neil had started carrying an extra lighter, and this time he pulled it out before Andrew got a chance. He took a seat next to Andrew, legs dangling off the side of the building, and lit Andrew’s cigarette. Only then did Andrew pull out another and toss it to Neil. 

Neil leaned back onto the palm of his right hand, holding the cigarette in the other.  
“You gave up at practice today.” Neil stated, knowing better than to phrase it as a question. Andrew stared blankly and took a long drag from his cigarette. “You could-”

“If you say ‘you could be court’, I swear to God you’ll be falling off the roof before you can finish saying it.” Andrew looked at Neil, the faintest glimmer of anger in his eye, and then turned back to viewing the sprawling campus. 

“I was going to say that you could’ve just sat out. You used to sit out all of Kevin’s practices.” Neil finally took a drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke toward Andrew’s face as he exhaled. Neil knew better than to discourage his playing, but sometimes antagonizing Andrew made him more eager to prove Neil wrong. 

“Used to.” Andrew mused, almost as if the phrasing said something important that Neil didn’t quite understand yet. “It was a team practice, anyway. I was hoping it would be a little more interesting.” 

Neil sat silently, tossing the words around in his head and watching as Andrew’s eyes wandered across the tops of buildings. Neil had gotten used to the comfortable silence between him and Andrew, sometimes wondering how many questions they had left to ask each other, and how much time they would have to figure that out. Neil knew that Andrew would find it pointless to wonder, so Neil kept that to himself. 

“Let me put it this way,” Andrew met Neil’s stare with an eyebrow raise, but his words were nonchalant. “There was only so much of me left when I came to Palmetto. If I listened to Kevin and dedicated myself to Exy, it would have to be everything.” Andrew stamped out his cigarette and waited for Neil to light him another. Neil complied, waiting for Andrew to keep talking. He slid closer, so their legs touched, and Neil closed his eyes to breathe in the smoke that clung to Andrew. “Exy is never going to be my reason to live. Kevin doesn’t understand that. He thinks having potential means that Exy runs in my veins like it does in his. So long as it keeps my interest, I’ll play. But Exy is something that takes more than it gives. Kevin was willing to tear himself apart just to be second best. I will never pour what's left of me into something like that.” He jerked his head upwards and his hand shot out to grab Neil’s shirt collar. “I can’t.” Andrew hovered only an inch from Neil’s face, maintaining eye contact in a way that burned something inside Neil's chest.

Neil only nodded in understanding and leaned forward, until his nose touched Andrew’s. “Okay.” Neil murmured. Andrew easily tossed the conversation aside and pushed into the kiss, moving his hand from Neil’s shirt to his shoulder blades. Neil was happy to lose himself in the kiss, to push away all his questions about whether Andrew had pieced himself together bit by bit without Exy, or whether he hadn’t found it important to try. Neil thought, for just a moment, that maybe Andrew pieced himself together a little bit more every time he confided in Neil. They returned to their dorm room an hour later, freezing and flushed, and made sure Kevin was asleep before curling up in the bean bag chair and kissing until their mouths were too numb to talk anymore. 


	3. 3

Neil was jolted awake from too-little sleep by the sound of Kevin switching through news broadcasts on his computer anxiously.

“Dreams of the Perfect Court were forever put to rest as Exy’s beloved Riko Moriyama took his own life after the Championship game last Friday-” 

Maybe he was exhausted and overworked, but for a moment, Neil could picture it. “The Perfect Court.” Him, Kevin, Jean Moreau, Andrew, Matt. He could see them fighting as a team, leaving a mark on the world, defining Exy for generations. Riko was nowhere to be found in Neil’s daydream. Neil had his own perfect court, here with the Foxes. 

Kevin saw that Neil was awake, and grabbed the corner of his blanket, giving it a hard yank. Neil tried to warn him too late that the blanket was twisted up around him, and in a loud crash, Kevin was pulled forward as Neil involuntarily slid to the end of the bed. Kevin’s head slammed into the mattress, and Neil ripped the blanket back from his hands. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Andrew asked, sitting at the edge of the top bunk. Nicky had spent the night watching inevitably terrible action movies with the upperclassmen and crashed on their couch, so Andrew had taken over his bed. If Kevin’s computer hadn’t woken Andrew, the sound of Kevin’s body crashing to the floor definitely had. Neil looked up at Andrew and shrugged his shoulders. Andrew rolled his eyes and climbed down off the bed, taking extra care to step gently on Kevin’s shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen. 

Kevin got up with a groan, shoving Neil backwards. Neil held onto the bed’s guardrail, but that did little to stop him from falling over the edge of the bed and landing hard against the floor. “Asshole.” Kevin didn’t look back as he grabbed his towel off the desk chair and headed toward the bathroom. 

Neil waited in the bedroom until Kevin had gotten dressed and left, and then walked into the bathroom. Some days it was easier for him to look at his reflection, and sometimes it was harder than before. He looked at his scars, pressing his hands to his cheek and pushing away thoughts of Baltimore. He stared into the mirror, his father’s eyes looking back at him, and turned his head away. The marks on his face reminded him that they were nothing alike, and yet Neil still couldn’t stomach the way it felt to see a bit of his dead father looking back at him. It made Neil feel as if he could snap at any moment, it made him worry for everyone he loved. As much as Neil wished he took after his mother, the rage in him came directly from his father- and Neil hated every ounce of similarity between them. 

After Neil got dressed, he returned to his room to finish planning his Fall classes and tried his best not to think about what may come next. He had found a home with the Foxes, and as long as he could stay there, anything could happen and be okay. He made a deal with Ichirou, his father was dead- what more could possibly go wrong? But Neil knew that there was always opportunity for something to go wrong, and that pit in his stomach gnawed at him all throughout the day. It pressed on through breakfast, through the afternoon practice that everyone reluctantly agreed to, to his seat on the roof beside Andrew afterward. 

Sitting next to Andrew was the closest thing Neil had to peace. He had found routine with Exy, he had the court and the racquet and the sheer adrenaline in his veins, but with Andrew, Neil found silence. Silence used to be daunting- it was all he had, silence and unfamiliar places, new identities, new people, nobody who spoke to him as if they really understood. Silence was a second nature to Neil, but it was always cold. He was used to the slam of a door and the silence that followed. He was used to using his quiet nights alone to plan new names, to go over his possibilities and recall the routes to find the stashes of money his mother had hidden on their drive. Neil was used to the sense of being alone that came with silence, but it was a whole different story with Andrew. Silence with Andrew was soft. It was comfortable- it reminded Neil that words didn’t need to be spoken to know where they stood. Andrew’s silence was his way of saying ‘I don’t mind you being here’, and to Neil, that was everything. Of course, it helped that their silence was usually broken up by Andrew’s rough hand against his cheek, and Andrew’s kisses, which were anything but rough. 

Andrew used to kiss Neil like it was war, and Neil was his last glimpse of home from an unfamiliar place. It wasn’t much different now, but Neil kissed harder and leaned in more and it didn’t feel so strange to him anymore. It felt like they were trying to find the reason behind the universe, like something they needed was hidden within each other and they were so close to finding it. Neil didn’t care if it took him days, months, or years to understand the meaning behind their kisses, as long as he had that long to figure it out. Neil ignored Andrew’s sideways comments and held his tongue to avoid slipping up and telling Andrew something he wasn’t ready to hear- Neil couldn’t just whisper sweet promises and expect Andrew to stay and listen to them. They stayed on the roof until Neil’s phone started to buzz, and Neil finally pulled away to lay back and look at the sky. 

Neil caught his breath while trying to identify constellations- his mother had taught him at one point, and if he looked hard enough he could still see the pictures they were meant to form. Neil turned his gaze on Andrew, contemplating a thousand questions he could ask, but his thoughts were silenced when Andrew’s phone started to ring. 

Andrew fished his phone out of his pocket, looked at the screen, and lazily answered. “Hello?”

The other side was muffled, but Neil could hear Nicky’s voice, “Uh, where are you guys?” 

“Nowhere.” Andrew responded smugly, and Neil watched Andrew pull the phone away from his ear and contemplate hanging up before pressing it back to his head. 

“Okay, whatever, you’d better be on your way.” There was a slight commotion, but all Neil could hear was static and muffled shouting. “Hey! What the-” 

Someone new was speaking now, but it became apparent to Neil that Nicky had just been shouting, because he couldn’t hear a word of what was said. 

“Oh,” Andrew mused mockingly, “Kevin Day, the pride and sorrow of Exy.” He pressed his thumb to his lips and listened carefully to whatever Kevin had to say. Neil watched as Andrew mumbled in agreement and clicked the phone shut. 

Andrew got to his feet wordlessly, and waited only seconds for Neil to follow. By the time the roof door was open and they stepped into the stairwell, the sound of pounding music vibrated against the walls. Neil took a deep breath and followed Andrew out of the stairwell, pushing past familiar faces from further down the hall, and closed themselves into Matt’s room. 

The music was deafening now- and the majority of faces Neil saw were ones he barely knew. Half the women’s lacrosse team were laughing on the couch with Allison, who was downing a bottle of vodka like it was water. Matt, Nicky, and some of the football team were scooping drinks into red solo cups from a clear tote full of unfamiliar pink liquid. Nicky noticed as Andrew and Neil entered and walked over to them, shouting loud enough for his voice to carry over the music. 

“Finally! What took you so long?” 

“What’s going on?” Neil asked, the crowd of people feeling out of place for a weekday at Fox Tower. 

“We’re celebrating!” Nicky said, and before Neil could ask more, Nicky turned to Andrew, “He’s in the bathroom!” 

Neil didn’t question it as Andrew walked off, but instead turned to Nicky. Nicky was leaning against the kitchen counter, doing his best to stand upright, but grinning in an unmistakably drunken way.  
“I got you.” Nicky grinned, and stalked off before Neil could protest. Instead, Neil surveyed the room that used to be his. Aaron and Katelyn were shamelessly making out in the bedroom, door wide open, as the rest of the vixen squad stood around the room chatting with other athletes. Neil felt a twinge of guilt at seeing the girl he rejected earlier in the year, but it disappeared just as quickly as Nicky reappeared at his side. Nicky pushed a cup into his hand, filled to the brim with the pink concoction that Nicky had presumably created from several alcohols and a hint of lemonade. Neil wanted to turn the drink down and return to his room, but the party gave him a bit of energy that he hadn’t expected. 

“What are we drinking to?” Neil asked, knowing full well that he had no intention of finishing the drink. 

“Championships!” Nicky shouted, raising his cup in the air. All throughout the room, people appeared to have heard Nicky’s cheer, and they all repeated in and chugged their drinks. For a moment, championships seemed like ancient history to Neil, he forgot that they never truly got their celebration. But with the realization that the season was over, Neil clinked his cup against Nicky’s and took a sip of the drink. The taste of alcohol was washed out completely by whatever else was mixed in, and Neil half-finished it before placing it on the counter and setting off in search of the rest of his team. 

It was relatively unsurprising to Neil that Kevin had been intoxicated enough to lock himself in the bathroom. Andrew and Renee had succeeded in gently convincing him to open the door, but Neil was entirely unprepared for Kevin’s state of being. Kevin was propped up against the cabinets, legs sprawled on the floor, wearing a pair of Neil’s cutoff jean shorts and a cheerleader’s top that he had to have put on for a bet. Kevin protested as they attempted to pull them from the bathroom floor, but stood instantly as something caught his eye. He walked to the kitchen with clear intent, and immediately grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the counter. 

Kevin unscrewed the cap, and grinned in the way that only someone completely wasted could. “To championships!” Kevin lifted the bottle and took a swig, and the rest of the dorm erupted in a chorus of ‘to championships’ in response. Neil quickly realized that championships changed as much for Kevin as it did for Neil, and he left Kevin to drink his worries away. 

Neil didn’t drink anymore, but he let the celebration take his mind away from everything that was troubling him. He lost himself in the music and the lights, he let people wrap him up in conversations that felt all too unimportant, and by the end of the night, Neil was feeling brave enough to ask Matt something he had been wondering about for weeks. 

Matt followed Neil to the least occupied section of the room and stood with his back against the wall. Neil looked up at him and wondered if he should bother asking, but Neil wouldn’t let himself back out at this point. 

“If I had told you guys sooner, would you have kept me on the team?” Neil spoke quietly, and Matt looked at him with confusion. Neil wasn’t sure if he had heard the question until Matt spoke up, just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

“I don’t know. It would’ve been a vote. But we all agreed to keep Kevin here after everything, so I don’t think it would’ve changed much.” Matt smiled and clapped Neil on the shoulder, “I’m going to get another beer.” 

Neil stayed in the corner, watching as people drank and crashed on random surfaces and the party died down. He slipped out of the room and crossed the hall back to his own, watching as people walked away, laughing and unsteady. He went into his kitchen, locking the door behind himself, and yanked open the fridge. He felt the familiar buzz of his phone in his pocket, and slowly the familiar dread crept it’s way back into his stomach. He watched as an unfamiliar number popped up on his screen, and with shaky hands he clicked to open the message. 

“You will get a call tomorrow. Keep your phone on.”

Neil went to bed that night with his stomach in knots. He couldn’t stay still long enough for sleep to take over, and when it finally did, he awoke too soon to feel at all rested.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Kevin Day's birthday, since I'm publishing it today.

Neil woke to the sound of Kevin's alarm, if you could call it waking. He had tossed in and out of a half-hearted attempt at sleep for the past hour, hoping that his exhaustion would overtake him. He spent the morning trying to distract himself, setting his phone down only to pick it up again minutes later. Neil attempted to focus on the Exy matches that Kevin played for him, highlighting the best scores and the player's takedowns, but every time the goal lit up red, Neil's mind flashed to the "0" on his phone screen, the burning feeling in his chest as he tried to say goodbye, then to the message he received the previous night.

"You will get a call tomorrow. Keep your phone on." 

Neil had contemplated letting his phone die and pretending he never saw the message, but charged the battery and kept it beside him anyway. He came to the conclusion that it could only be one of two people. The area code wasn't for Baltimore, so it was unlikely that it was anyone close to his father, but burner phones are easy to come by so that did little to settle his nerves. It would make too much sense if someone was calling to threaten him into not testifying at his father’s trial. It could be someone from the FBI, or a lawyer contacting him about his case- but the message shouldn't be so blunt, and it wouldn't have come so late at night. No, Neil decided, it didn’t matter how many times he tried to guess who it was, he wouldn’t be right. 

“Ground control to Major Tom.” Andrew’s voice echoed from somewhere around him, and Neil sat up straight and looked for Andrew. Andrew sat across the table from him, looking at Neil like he had something stuck in his teeth. “You have the attention span of a fruit fly.” 

Neil looked down at the notebooks in front of him, then the phone he was holding with a death grip in his hands. No missed calls. He’d zoned out while studying Russian. 

“Don’t you mean goldfish?” Neil asked, setting his phone gently on the table and picking up a pencil. Neil began translating simple words, forcing his attention back to the paper. 

“Goldfish have better attention spans than humans.” Andrew said, as if it was something that everyone knew. Neil glanced between Andrew and his notebook before tossing his pencil back on the table. 

“I’m going on a run.” Neil said, offering no further explanation. Andrew crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, but didn’t ask Neil why. Neil was almost relieved at Andrew’s apathy. He shoved his things into his jacket pocket and left Fox Tower. 

Neil ran down Perimeter Road and looped around the clock tower, stopping briefly to catch his breath before carrying on. The world blurred around him, he watched passing cars and laughing students and felt a quiet unease at the remnants of Exy banners and posters littered on the sides of buildings. The weight in Neil’s stomach hadn’t budged, but the familiar burn in his lungs kept him from thinking about the phone call. He let his feet guide him and focused on his breathing as he rounded the corner to the stadium’s parking lot. Neil slowed to a walk and crossed over to the front entrance of the building. He typed in the four digit passcode and let himself in. Last week the code had been Coach’s birthday, but this week it had switched to Kevin’s. 0222. Neil had wondered if he was going to go through all the Foxes’ birthdays, or if making Kevin’s the code had been a small gesture between them that nobody was meant to notice. 

Neil let himself into the foyer and switched on the lights, then walked slowly to the locker room. It was practically instinct guiding Neil at this point, but he needed to clear his head. He changed into his gear, hoping no one would walk in as he hadn’t bothered to change in the stalls. He pulled his racquet from the storage room and stood at the door to court. Neil turned the racquet over in his hands, focusing on the weight that used to feel so strange in his hands. Now, it felt like a promise. The team knew his story now, they knew who he was and they wanted him here. Neil walked onto the court and practiced every drill he could remember. The clatter of the ball against the corners of the goal breathed relief into Neil’s body. He swung his racquet with a precise strength, and continued until he could barely feel where his arms ended and the racquet began. Then, Neil yanked off his helmet and laid on the center of the court floor. The only feeling in his body was the strain of his muscles and the pounding of his heart in his ears. 

Neil left the stadium feeling slightly more relaxed than before. The sky had started to fade from blue to orange, and he turned to look back at the stadium before his jog back to Fox Tower. Neil had to steel himself to not stumble back, but it stared him straight in the face- there was no mistaking what he saw. At some point during his practice, taggers had brought cans of spray paint and scrawled words across the sides of the building. Neil’s heart plummeted to his feet as he looked at the word “murderers” screaming at him in what seemed like thousands of shades of red. 

Neil yanked out his phone and dialed Coach Wymack before he could even process what he was going to say. 

“This better be important.” Coach answered, and Neil faltered before he responded.

“The stadium.” Neil said, hanging up as quickly as he called. Neil searched the parking lot for campus police or their cars, but nobody was around. 

Coach Wymack’s car pulled up only seconds after Matt’s and Andrew’s. Neil could hear arguing as the car doors opened, but everyone quieted as they noticed the building. 

“When the fuck did this happen?” Wymack asked through gritted teeth. Neil guessed he would’ve heard it if it happened before he got on the court, so he pieced the timeline together shakily. 

“In the last hour. It wasn’t like this when I got here.” The Foxes looked to Neil, then to Wymack, but nobody had a solution. Neil couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning. 

“It has to be Riko’s superfans, right? Nobody would…” Kevin trailed off, glancing to Aaron and then Neil. Nobody wanted to say what Kevin was thinking aloud. Kevin cleared his throat, “Nobody knows the details of the arrest.” 

The details. Neil tried to choke down his laugh at that, but everyone heard. Aaron shot him a furious glare, but Neil couldn’t help but think that if anyone could figure out the ‘details’ it would be crazed Exy fans. The press had gotten wind of Aaron’s arrest a few weeks ago, and nobody told them a thing. Most hadn’t even bothered reporting on it- the case was sealed, at least until they went to court. But if the details came out, the whole world would be looking at Andrew like some kind of damaged hero. Andrew would’ve rather publicly called himself a murderer than let that happen. If the full story had leaked, they all would’ve known within minutes. 

That shot a brief thought of Tilda into Neil’s head, but that was old news. If people caught wind of Andrew killing his mother, it may be breaking news but it wouldn’t be fresh enough of a wound for people to spray paint the side of the building. Neil tried not to panic as he remembered every person he’d ever had to fight. Neil couldn’t remember sticking around long enough to see if anyone died, but then one last memory pushed its way into his head. It was like Neil was on the floor in Baltimore again. He could see the people above him holding guns. He could see his father, kneeling on the ground, dying before his eyes. He could feel the relief wash over him again as he remembered the feeling of a dashboard cigarette lighter searing into his flesh, his arms struggling against the restraints that dug into his wrists until they bled. Neil rubbed absentmindedly at the thin white scars impressed into his arms by handcuffs. The whole country knew that Nathan Wesninski had died. For once, this wasn’t Neil’s fault. Thoughts of his father still ate at the back of Neil’s mind while he stood there waiting. 

Allison called the campus police first, and Wymack put in a work order to have the stadium scrubbed until it was orange again. Neil said nothing as Wymack told everyone that he called Bee and she would be available for anyone who needed her first thing in the morning. Neil kept his eyes trained on the stadium and tried his best to distance himself from the conversation. He said nothing as Matt asked him if he wanted a ride back, as Renee put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled sweetly. 

After at least 30 minutes of dumbfounded theories and arguments, Wymack sent the Foxes back to the dorms. Neil paced the hallway until Andrew led the way into their room. Neil shut the door behind him and pushed past Nicky and Kevin, who sat on the couch as they waited for the Playstation to turn on. Neil shut the bathroom door behind him and yanked his shirt over his head. 

He stood in the mirror, glaring down his reflection as if he could confront his father by staring into those blue eyes they shared. Neil wanted to yell, to shout, to say the things he never did. He wanted to tell his father that Neil had lived in spite of him, that everything he had ever suffered through had brought Neil to the Foxes, that when his father wanted to tear his legs apart, Neil was less worried about dying and more worried that he would never play Exy again. Neil had accepted that he was going to die, even before the countdown and before Lola took him away. But he had never realized his last game could really be his last game until he was being pulled away from the Foxes in the chaos of the riot. Neil still thought he would never see a stadium again, even after he was taken away from the chaos and brought to a hospital. A big part of him thought that he may never see any of them again- Coach, Kevin, Matt, Renee, Dan, Allison, Nicky...Andrew. The thought of never seeing Andrew and never seeing an Exy stadium again was enough to destroy Neil, so he held onto all the secret kisses and the feeling of a house key in his palm, and he told himself that maybe one day he would have a home again. Neil wished he had been the one to kill his father, to take his safety and future away from him like he had done to Neil. 

Neil lifted a shaky hand and pressed it against the burn on his shoulder, then stretched his arms out in front of him and peeled off his armbands. Neil’s scars were healed enough that they didn’t need constant bandaging anymore, but the skin was still sore and raised. He ran his fingers along each one, trying to remember the way the skin felt before it was burned. Neil winced as he remembered the dashboard lighter again, and though the pain was dull in his mind, it felt as if the wounds were opening all over again. The feeling of fire, of his skin screaming, of his voice going hoarse- it welled up in his throat like it would choke him. Neil felt dizzy at the thought of it. 

A quiet knock came at the bathroom door, and Neil looked back at the mirror. “Yeah.” He said, quiet enough that he barely heard it himself. 

Andrew pushed the door open just enough to walk in, and shut it behind him. He looked Neil up and down emotionlessly, and lifted his hand against Neil’s chest. Neil took a deep breath and leaned slightly against the pressure. The feeling of Andrew’s hand held Neil up, kept him on his feet. Neil remembered the first time Andrew had been there, the unrelenting force that held Neil upright when he felt himself slipping. 

“Having a mental breakdown?” Andrew asked, looking up at Neil blankly. 

“Something like that.” Neil said, wanting desperately to press his hand against Andrew’s face and pull him closer. 

Andrew watched as Neil shifted his stance, and grabbed Neil’s waist. “Yes or no?” 

Neil nodded, not trusting his voice to come out strong. Andrew leaned forward, and suddenly Neil forgot what he’d been thinking about and focused on Andrew. The steady weight of Andrew’s hand on his back, holding him close, the feeling of Andrew’s tongue against his. Neil’s thoughts melted away as he tangled his hands into Andrew’s hair, pulling him as close as the two could get. Neil felt his back slam up against the counter and he didn’t flinch, he felt Andrew’s hand guide him carefully to Andrew’s shoulder, and Neil held on like Andrew was his lifeline. He kissed Andrew like they were two ships crashing together on furious waves. 

Andrew was snapped out of the kiss by the buzz of Neil’s phone in his pocket. Andrew eyed Neil’s phone for a moment, and then walked himself out of the room. Neil wanted to follow him, but he picked up his phone and stared at the screen instead. No caller ID. He took a deep breath and flipped it open, pressing it up to his ear. 

“Neil Josten?” A deep voice began. Neil’s hands shook as he kept the phone pressed to his ear, wracking his memory for any familiarity in the caller’s voice. He spoke slowly and deeply, but he didn’t sound like anyone Neil could name offhand. It wasn’t one of the FBI agents he met in Baltimore, it wasn’t anyone from his father’s inner circle. Neil counted to ten in German, focusing his breathing. It did nothing to soothe his nerves, so he repeated the words in French, but was cut off by the man on the other side of the phone. “Neil Josten, please confirm your identity.” Neil pushed the weight to the back of his mind and focused on the Foxes. Whatever happened now, he had something holding him here. 

“Yes. This is Neil.” It seemed like forever to Neil until the man answered, but he just held his breath and waited. 

“This phone call is merely a courtesy.” The man on the other side said, and Neil wished that he would show even a hint of emotion so Neil could prepare himself to react. “Lord Ichirou requested that you keep your phone on you at all times. He has a task for you, at some point in the upcoming week. Do not let your phone die. Keep it on you at all times. Do not leave South Carolina.” 

Neil waited for the man to continue, but he was already breathing easier. The Moriyamas may be impossible to read and even easier to piss off, but Neil was safe. When he realized that the man had finished his message, Neil cleared his throat. “I understand.” 

“Good.” The man said, and the receiver clicked and went silent. Neil shut his phone and leaned back against the bathroom wall.


	5. 5

Two important things marked the last day of March for the Foxes- Riko Moriyama’s funeral, and Neil’s birthday. For the most part, Neil and the Foxes didn’t give a damn about the funeral. Allison suggested a celebration, but Kevin shot her a look that caused the entire idea to wither away as quickly as she spoke it. Before ten in the morning, the team was gathered with Wymack inside the foyer. 

They stuck to their usual seats- Kevin, Nicky, Neil, and the twins all crammed onto the couch, everyone else in chairs. Wymack sat on the edge of the side table, surveying his team. Kevin kept his eyes on his hands while the team fidgeted, waiting for Wymack to speak. 

“Listen up.” Coach Wymack finally said, glancing around the room, “Riko’s funeral is tonight, and Kevin and I are driving to West Virginia.” He held up a hand to silence the murmurs of confusion. “If anyone else wants to pay their respects, you can talk to me and we will save you a seat. You have twenty minutes to be in the car, or your sorry ass is staying here.” Wymack stalked off to his office, and the room erupted in conversation. 

“You’re going to his fucking funeral?” Aaron asked, glaring down Kevin from the end of the couch. “Why would you want to be anywhere near the Ravens right now?”

“It’s not up for discussion.” Kevin frowned, glancing up at the expectant team. Neil shifted his gaze off Kevin and onto his other teammates. That unsettling look had crossed Kevin’s face again, and Neil realized he knew it well. Grief. 

“You’re being an idiot.” Aaron said, getting up from his seat on the couch. Aaron paced quietly along the wall of the room.

“For once, I agree with Aaron.” Allison interjected. “After everything he’s done-”

“The press would speculate if Kevin didn’t go, right?” Nicky asked, more to Andrew than anyone else. Andrew met Nicky with a shrug and a dead stare. If he knew Kevin’s reasoning, he wasn’t spilling. 

Kevin looked at Nicky, and Nicky leaned against the arm of the couch. He shook his head and looked away, knowing that he wasn’t getting an answer.

“This is stupid.” Aaron said, not waiting to hear if anyone had a response before he stalked out of the room to sit in the car. 

Wymack’s keys jingled as he locked his office, glancing at Kevin and nodding to the parking lot. Kevin stood, following him out of the building. The silence remained unbroken until the door clicked shut. 

“Something is seriously wrong with him.” Matt said, glancing between the boys on the couch. “What if the Ravens try something?” 

“At a funeral?” Neil asked in response. There was something about Kevin’s reaction to the news that assured Neil that Kevin needed this closure. It may be foreign and unfamiliar to him, but it was important to Kevin. 

“Something is seriously wrong with all of us.” Andrew said, after the conversation lulled. Everyone looked at him expectantly, as if Andrew could reveal the mystery of Kevin's decision, but Andrew only glanced at his nails and sighed as if they all bored him.

“Whatever.” Nicky said, “As long as he doesn’t expect any of us to go.” 

The Foxes had only just started to gather around the living room of Matt’s dorm for the evening when all hell broke loose. Dan, Renee, and Allison were getting Chinese food while the others cleaned up the apartment for a quiet night in. By now, Kevin and Wymack were in West Virginia, probably standing around solemnly in suits in a cemetery, and the team was ready to drink and forget there was a funeral going on. Neil had presumed that his birthday was long forgotten- and reminded himself that his real birthday had been months ago and a new identity didn’t give him a new birthday. The promise of a wild birthday party had put Neil on edge all week- and the relief that came when he realized the day had come and it would soon be over didn’t last long. 

The door to their room slammed open hard enough for the walls to shake as men in black suits with plastic police shields rushed in. Before he had time to properly panic, Neil was pinned to the floor with a knee in his back. He could hear his teammates shouting protests and the chatter of a police radio, but Neil focused as hard as he could on his breathing. He let his arms go still and stopped struggling as people rifled through the rooms in a fury. Neil shut his eyes and tried to understand why the police were in Fox Tower. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the moment, Neil’s mind couldn’t stop itself from flashing back to Baltimore, to the cops and the guns and the cold leather in the back of a police car. His stomach twisted in his gut at the thought of being taken away again.

“We aren’t doing anything!” Nicky shouted, but his voice was muffled by the carpet. The commotion around them only seemed to get worse before it died down. As the cop stood up, Neil felt the pressure lift off his back. He put his hands out to steady himself as he sat up. He looked dizzily around the room, at his teammates, and tried to calm down. Nicky’s face was rug-burned but he was okay, he sat blearily on the edge of the couch. Andrew was giving the cops a death glare as they unlocked his handcuffs- Neil wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Andrew did to get there. Matt looked as confused as he did upset, but he kept his mouth in a polite line as he brushed his hand against his shoulder. Aaron held tightly to the windowsill with one hand, refusing to look at anyone. 

The first thing Neil noticed was a K-9, being walked out of the room by a short officer in a vest. Nobody dared to speak, but cops filed out of the apartment until only one stood in the room, staring at them. Neil cleared his throat but said nothing- his head was still racing. 

“It seems someone made a prank 911 call.” The officer started. Neil took a deep breath, his shoulders shaking as he exhaled, “We received a tip that there were people selling illegal drugs out of this dorm. We searched the premises and found nothing to indicate any presence of illegal substances.”

“Good work Officer, you really cracked the case.” Aaron muttered under his breath. The cop glanced only in his direction before turning toward the door. 

“We take this kind of thing very seriously.” The officer said from the doorway, but nobody turned to look as he walked away. 

They sat in silence until the officer was long gone, and the hall was empty. Nicky stood up first, locking the door and walking off to the kitchen. 

“This happened last year, you know. With Riko dead, it’ll just keep getting worse.” Matt said. He took the glass Nicky offered him and swallowed the contents before speaking again. “Some idiots were pissed about Kevin joining the Foxes and they claimed that the football team had started a meth lab upstairs.” 

Neil looked at Matt, and got up to sit on the couch beside him. Neil wasn’t sure how to comfort someone, but Matt was more distraught than the rest of them. Judging by the scrapes on Matt’s chin, he got the worst of it. Neil put a hand on Matt’s shoulder, and Matt offered a timid smile. 

When Nicky handed Neil a glass of whiskey, Neil didn’t turn it down. 

The girls knocked on the door, and Matt got up to open it. He stayed by the door, taking Dan aside. Neil assumed that Matt was filling her in about what happened. Allison and Renee walked in with Chinese food and party hats, and took a long glance around the room. 

“Is everything okay?” Renee asked, smiling gently as she looked at Neil. Neil didn’t know how to respond, so he said nothing.

“Oh, everything’s great.” Andrew grabbed the whiskey bottle off the table and sat himself down on the couch, then gave a painfully sarcastic smile to everyone in the room. He looked at Neil and deadpanned, then tilted the bottle in Neil’s direction, “Happy birthday.” 

Dan had promised to throw a wild party for Neil’s birthday, but he was relieved to find that she had planned otherwise. After the night’s events, Neil didn’t want to be surrounded by drunk strangers and loud music. Dan turned on an old recorded Exy match that was saved to the TV and passed out drinks, and the night resumed shakily. It seemed that everyone preferred to pretend the cops were never there, and after a long text to Wymack, Neil shoved it to the back of his mind and focused on his friends. 

For once, Andrew didn’t seem to complain about being in a room with the other Foxes, and Neil watched as they laughed and talked. Neil glanced at the score on the TV from time to time, but the longer he talked to everyone, the less he checked the screen. 

Neil remembered how he felt when he first joined the Foxes- the aching feeling that he would have to desert them and the familiarity of keeping them at arm's length. But they were all here, together still, they knew more about him than anyone in his life ever had, and not even a small part of Neil wanted to run. Neil only drank that one glass, but he stayed in Matt’s room and laughed with everyone until the talk died down and everyone started getting tired. 

As people wandered back to their own rooms, Neil stayed behind to help clean up. 

“Uh-uh.” Renee shook her head, taking empty glasses out of Neil’s hands and walking them to the sink, “You can’t clean up at your own party, it’s a rule.” 

Neil shoved his hands into his pockets and followed her to the kitchen, leaning against the counter while she rinsed glasses. “Thank you for tonight.” Neil said, grabbing a hand towel from the drawer. Renee took it and smiled. 

“You don’t have to thank us.” Renee said, picking up a discarded party hat off the counter and setting it on top of Neil’s head. Neil stood still so it wouldn’t fall off, but Renee only laughed when it dropped to the floor. “I hope you had a good birthday.” 

Neil walked to the door, and Matt followed to lock up behind him. “This is the first birthday you’ve spent with us, but it won’t be the last. Next year, we’re planning something big.” Matt smiled, clapping Neil’s shoulder. Neil didn’t protest- he only nodded back at Matt and wandered across the hall. He locked the door behind him and got into bed quietly, making sure not to wake Nicky. Neil listened to Andrew’s footsteps as he entered the room, watching his outline in the glow from the window. There was something tense about Andrew, something that made Neil think back to the first night they met.

Andrew stepped closer and looked down at Neil in a questioning glance, but Neil shook his head. He could smell the liquor on Andrew’s breath. Andrew nodded and climbed into bed beside Neil. Neil was used to laying in a bed with someone, but Andrew’s shape laying next to him was different than his mother sleeping closely to keep an eye on him. Neil and Andrew laid face to face, not cuddling aside from hands occasionally touching. The slightest noise or movement woke Andrew up, but to Neil’s relief, they were both relatively still sleepers. Sleep came slowly, but Neil stared out the window and tried to make out the shapes of buildings on campus as he drifted off.


End file.
